This feels sacred and scary

Feeling exceptionally tired and tapped out of ideas yesterday morning while getting ready to teach my 9:30 am Advanced class, I had nothing at all prepared in the way of asanas, sequence or theme. I didn't feel panicked though as I saw the familiar and friendly faces of the students who came to class. After some thoughtful discussion regarding yoga in social media and some branch-off topics, we got started. I offered them my current home practice; which has evolved into a really reliable and smooth flow that can either be dialed down for slower moving mornings or ramped up for those days when I have extra time and extra energy to play around with, but always does a more than adequate job of preparing me for my day. I felt confident in my instructions even through some tricky transitions and complicated and lengthy combinations because I know this sequence so well in my body on all levels. I felt even meditative while teaching it, automatically dropping into the sensorial flow of it. And although I always am connected and invested in the sequences I teach and absolutely share my experiences of the poses, this felt very different....intimate even. Sitting in siddhasana while the students lay blissfully satisfied in savasana, I was trying to get a hold of what I was feeling. Whether they knew it or not I had made myself completely vulnerable and bare, especially since I knew I had to close this particular class with the small prayer that ends my daily practice and starts my day, in lieu of a meditation practice that I have regrettably been neglecting for some time now. I briefly considered just closing as I always do, with some breath, an 'Om' and a 'Namaste'' but that felt like I would be taking a step backward as a teacher. I remembered the first time I decided to close class by chanting 'Om'; my throat wobbly and shaky with nerves. I now felt remarkably similar preparing to reveal the more sacred part on my personal practice. You'd think I was reading some secretive and juicy diary entry, but really I was simply offering them this:
While seated with hands in Anjali mudra (prayer hands), bow deeply- "in acknowledgment and acceptance that I am here in service..." Sit up straight, press mudra to third eye center "...in my thoughts..." Press mudra to lips "...in my words..." Press mudra to heart center "...in my intentions and actions..." With head bowed slightly, release hands to rest on legs with palms facing up "...I humbly ask for and accept guidance and assistance on this path, in this form..." Lift head, Anjali mudra at heart center "...I am ready" as I blink my eyes open and usually have a goofy smile on my face at this point and offer an enthusiastic "Namaste'"

Embracing Change & Removing Obstacles

It is the start of a wonderful new time of year and for some of us it is also the start of a new journey. Just this past weekend began both the 200 hour and 300 hour Yoga Teacher Trainings. I have the honor to co-teach the 200 hour YTT with Silver Kim and it is always exciting to see students go from generally attentive and interested during classes to passionately intrigued and actively seeking a deeper expression of their practice and understanding of yoga beyond class. Frankly, it wasn't so very long ago that I was one of them. And now after some years of teaching and continued progress in my practice and learning, I find my interest piqued even more. It is like hiking alongside a waterfall and after climbing so far and reaching the top of a fall you find that there is a fall above it that you hadn't seen and another fall above that one and so on and so forth. Luckily for me the 300 hour YTT has come at a time when I can attend and be as fully invested as possible. But not unlike any new venture or anytime we take a step toward or daringly into the unknown, doubt, fear and other obstacles arise.

You have all seen this handsome and auspicious guy in the studio and perhaps elsewhere. He is known as Ganesha, Ganesh, Ganapati, just to list the most frequently used names. Widely recognized as the "Remover of Obstacles", he is often prayed to or honored during times of new beginnings, especially those that may pose extra challenges, whether they be new ones or familiar challenges re-emerging despite futile attempts of suppression or avoidance.Throughout our lives and experiences we start to view ourselves in certain ways, recognizing our strengths, talents, tendencies, and naturally developing some self-limiting ideas in accordance with the labels that we place upon ourselves as we see these various aspects of personality and lifestyle. When CHANGE is introduced it can feel extremely threatening and scary. The paradox here is that even if you actively choose the change and even when it is a change that you know will better an aspect of your life that could really use some refining and betterment, it can still feel extremely threatening and scary. This is when our friend Ganesha can offer his assistance.

Ganesha is a deity who has the body of a man and the head of an elephant, thus he represents (among too many things to mention here) the human yearning to connect with Nature. With his generous pot belly, he represents the bounty of Nature and the Universe; which is truly always supporting our evolution and encouraging us to THRIVE through our many and various experiences in this life. As we strive to connect with and integrate with Nature and our unique, individual, authentic natures, we are forced to face that which distracts us from it- obstacles, challenges, fears, doubts, and the many other factors that we try to deny, ignore, and avoid. With his four hands, Ganesha is equipped in the following ways to help us stay the course: to eliminate those worldly attachments that prove unnecessary and potentially distracting; repel obstacles that might hinder or discourage us; illuminate and navigate the path of truth; and remind us of and protect the sweetness of the inner self, dare I say the bigger SELF.

So with Ganesha in my corner (not to mention all over my house and person), I will do my best to accept and embrace the changes that will come as I continue on my journey to discover more of my potential, to see and convey clearer my truth, to recognize the nature of my bigger Self that is a reflection of that which is truly Divine and GOOD and the vast amount of obstacles that may be on that path. Figuratively, to simply keep climbing to the top of the waterfalls, to the SOURCE.

~OM Sri Ganeshaya Namah~

(mantra to honor Ganesha and cultivate success, prosperity, wisdom, strength, and illumination)